Chris McDonnell, UK
christymac733@gmail.com

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Time to talk to someone...

We spend most of our life talking to one another, a few of us exchange letters, many more snap off the odd email and a small minority write in some extended form, exchanging ideas and making comment.

But it is the spoken word that is our basic currency of exchange. I remember talking with a friend many years back, who worked in teacher education in London, about a visit he made to a high school in Brooklyn. I asked him for some key differences when compared to our schools here in UK. His comment was immediate, it was about the quality of verbal exchange, how the pupils in NYC were articulate and forthcoming in their use of language. It made me realise as a headteacher how important it is that we talk with children as much as possible before expecting quality in the written word.

What happens when conversations take place? Well, first of all it is a point of contact, a time when we talk with someone and not at them, for valuable conversation demands listening as well as speaking. So much is about tone of voice and facial expressions that accompany our words. We pick up signals from each other that are missing through email exchange or other forms of social media. It is easy to misunderstand one another, to take offence when none was intended.

Words of compassion are shared face to face when there is a chance to listen to an understanding voice, to see sympathy in expression and maybe at the same time appreciate the tenderness of touch. When a child is upset or hurt the conversation through the spoken word is less important than the caring hug given by a parent. It is reassuring in a tactile way that goes beyond speech.

We have no written words that can be ascribed to Jesus, but Scripture records numerous conversations in which he had an active role. His teaching was verbal, his life the expression of that teaching, an example for us to follow on our Emmaus journey.

Countless men and women have walked their journey without leaving a single written record of their conversations. We find traces in the ground of their artefacts, materials they handled and used and when broken, tossed aside. We find too the remains of their physical form especially well-preserved in the peat bogs of Northern Europe, their skin the colour of dark leather; not knowing their tongue, we are left only with their diminished form. What an experience it would be to hear their lost and forgotten voices. In our own time the memory of voice is a vibrant companion to the image of the person, even though their journey is complete.

Our vocabulary within the English language is wide and expressive. Sitting reading in my daughter's garden recently, near a large hedge that borders a field, I listened to the limited "baahhh" of sheep, ewe responding to lamb, lamb seeking its mother, all with seemingly one word, but it worked and they were reconciled in good time.

On the lakeside beach, a conversation between Peter and the Nazarene, used the image of feeding lambs and sheep in words that forgave and healed. We have their words, we have to bring to life for ourselves the tone and body language that was part of the occasion. Peter's response, ending in exasperation shows impatience but then we know from other recorded instances, Peter was an impetuous man.

The immediacy of contact, when two people are together exchanging views, has enormous value, something we appreciate when that contact is lost either gradually through the onset of illness or with the finality of death.

On an alternative level, disputes can only be resolved through conversations if conflict is to be avoided.

We could describe the Books of Old Testament Scripture as a record of an endless conversation over many centuries between God and mankind, the telling of a continual story of teaching and reconciliation. With the writing of the New Testament that understanding of prophetic conversation has taken us a stage further. We are caught between old forms of childhood faith, yet waiting for a new dispensation to emerge.

In our own times, we have been continually reminded by Francis that conversation is important, that listening is part of understanding. That is why within parishes open conversation leads to involvement and pastoral care, one for another. At diocesan level we find ourselves at a distance from our Bishop and appreciation is that much harder. But we must not give up seeking conversation that is honest and purposeful.

The conversation of love is without end, is not limited by language but is sufficiently expressed by the occasional Baahhh and the wide open arms of a caring hug.

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